Do you know how to go through the five phases of the emotional or feelings process?
- Shock, denial, or protest;
- Bargaining;
- Anger (acting out);
- Depression (anger turned inward); and, lastly,
- Understanding and coping.
Have you ever called someone a horrible person? When you are ready, when you are finally able to express to another person your "frustration" of their unproductive actions or behavior, you are simply expressing to them that you need their help--emotionally. What you are actually saying to the person is that you need their help in dealing with a current, right-now situation. You need them to participate in your personal emotional process.
The horrible person, your abuser, is actually a learned behavior of dysfunctional actions--that have been allowed socially: You know that you can rely on the fact that the horrible person will continue to be in your life, no matter how odd of your connection with the horrible person. You can rely on the person's behavior and unexpressed emotional manners ... continued learned social habits. Eventually, you mature in your understanding of your emotions around the person; what to do or not do, what to say or not to say.
Do you really know what another person goes through in their specific life experiences? Or are you simply being selfish in not understanding another because of your current unproductive situation? Being selfish means that no matter the abuse, you are not willing to accept or participate in a better interaction with another.
I often say that you never really know what goes on behind closed doors of unique home styles. So I will say it again,
"You never really know what goes on behind closed doors
[of home styles, meeting rooms, offices, schools]."
Take time to learn and to understand to fully participate in "your emotions" of the stages of the emotional process, especially when dealing with a horrible person.
With Love,
With Love,